Jamie Bryan's Blog

New Year, New Goals, & Blog

Jay — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 16:54:06 +0000

This year my goal is to make a moment to blog, this is a test in itself bc I get so busy at certain times of the year and I don’t get to stay on top of blog….but I really am going to persevere through this commitment.

I have to wonder what my goals were in 2010, I didn’t write them down last year but I went in with a great perspective and ended with a year that I would rather not repeat. Not one of my finest.

So this year I am writing them down….I sometimes wonder if God knows we just need a fresh start? Like when you clean your kitchen all the way through and suddenly you cannot wait to cook a huge dinner..or, when you clean you office, move it all around and then you feel like you are so much more productive..something about the new, fresh & clean start inspires us. I am thankful that Christ gave us that opportunity in our lives. To have a chance with a clean start. Now to make it count, not just get all cluttered up again and be a time of unproductive wasted time.

Completing a Chapter

Jay — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:14:46 +0000

My oldest daughter, Jessica, is preparing herself to depart for college in less than a week. I chose my wording very careful on that sentence considering that she really has been preparing herself, it is the long task list of things that also require preparation that has concerned me to the higher anxiety level. She finally chose her bedding and colors last week, which is the cornerstone of the entire dorm room considering everything can be seen at one glance in her new home.

After many stressful conversations, I was able to begin marking items off my list. Allow me to expand on what was causing the stress…My daughter had associated going to college like going to Falls Creek. She was going to throw a few needed items in a suitcase, grab a couple of towels and some bedding then be on her way. Her home was going to be here while she visited college. The thought of our lives going in forward motion and her not being an active part of this everyday I believe was the hardest thought to wrap her mind around.

Don’t mistake that she isn’t very excited about her up and coming new adventure, because she is…..she just is not excited about her family continuing without her here on a daily basis. That is where the sadness enters, I am not excited about her not being here every morning to share in our family chaos. So we are embarking upon an exciting time, a sad time, and a season of change in our home. . . today however we have more college shopping to conquer in order to whittle down my stressful list.

Love….just the beginning.

Jay — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:25:34 +0000

Tonight Scott taught about Love. It has got me thinking and really opening my eyes to the perception of love that we long for, raise our daughters to long for and yet we have traveled so far from what Love is.

……God is Love…..that is what Love is. God is love. God sent his perfect undeserving son to be sacrificed for sinners. When did Love get so distorted and selfish? When did a husband or wife stop caring about each other and cared more about themselves? When did a parent not want to take care of their child? When we thought we were capable of loving.

God is Love….we have once again tried to pretend we can do it without Him, yet have failed so miserably. We are able to love once we grasp that we can love through the ability of what God does in our hearts. Without that we are pretending to do something that will eventually backfire into a journey of disappointment in the fact that it was not returned to our satisfaction.

I want to love with all I am…I want to give and expect nothing in return….I want to share my heart and know that it may be hurt but God will always pick up my pieces….I want walk out 1 Corinthians 13 .

Handling the Humbling….

Jay — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:27:54 +0000

I believe we endure each thing for a reason, far beyond what we understand, but yet it does not make the enduring any less painful at times. That is where I am walking right now, in some moments that I know will stretch me, but are so painful. Humbling is one of the most painful life lessons I have seen in action. I say this because no matter where you think you are in your walk or growth, or how well you think you can handle the next time in a better manner, it will hurt each time you encounter it. So to whatever this shall teach me, I have now come to terms with embracing this season.

Settling

Jay — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:26:15 +0000

So the last few weeks have been a blur in the Bryan home…I think I can safely say we have arrived at the “Busy Season”. However, as long as we are all healthy then I truly enjoy it. Sure I will get tired some days and frazzled on others, but still I enjoy it.

Now, the hard part is getting everyone healthy right now. There is a virus that is worming through many families that I know, and this thing is a spawn of something quite evil I have decided. The effects are truly weakening on your entire body. Riley was the first to have this, and it was a horrid thing to watch your littlest guy get so hot with fever, sick and lethargic. Jessica started the downward spiral 12 hours before me, and Lindsey is now sleeping in the middle of this beautiful afternoon. How ready am I for this to be moved out of this house!

Since we have been home a lot with all this illness, I have been pondering quite a bit of thoughts. When something like this hits, we are urging it to get the heck outta dodge, not wanting it to leave a parting gift or forwarding address…but when the good things roll around, well we want to embrace them, hang onto them, take pictures of every moment to capture the joy filled events on film.

I know that this statement has been made so many times before, but until you live it, I don’t think it settles within you. Watching the bad, makes you enjoy the good all the more. I have truly rejoiced seeing Riley up and being a crazy four year old with endless energy again. My patients are stronger, for this is the way I want to see him, not bed ridden with fever consuming his little body. This makes me wonder, does God view us the same in our good and bad moments? Not like a dad, but more….Ah, its good to see them up and about again. Doing what I created them to do…well,until they forget again how blessed they truly are in their goodness and begin complaining all the time. Patients running out before lunch even rolls around, bad attitudes, and ungratefulness consuming them…

Sorry….went on a rant there for a moment. So this is where my mind has wondered today. This is where I am settling for a time, to ask Him to continuing to stretch me with each season of unexpected. Slowing me when needed, but never let me just be sitting. As my wise husband says, let me be a Bottle Rocket…completely unpredictable in Christ.

It was a great thought in theory…

Jay — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:44:54 +0000

Since deciding that I was going to post daily, Riley has gotten a viral infection and Pneumonia…I have felt the need to take on his virus and it has decided on taking the tour de Jamie. This thing has traveled to every joint and gland. I feel so swollen in my neck right now I believe I resemble a blow fish. So maybe as I bounce back I will be able to pick up where I intended to start. That is my plan anyway

Meaning to do something changes nothing..so do it.

Jay — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:00:35 +0000

I am in rare form this early morning hour…possibly due to the lack of sleep that I have acquired in the past 5 days, but however I love when these revelations occur.

There are times that I know each of us wish we would have done this, said that, taken action or simply would have just done something more than what we chose to do at that time, which usually was nothing. For stepping out of the pack and moving against the natural flow of life seems so extreme, show stopping, even ….yes, dangerous.

Soooo, what in the world are we waiting for?! I am feeling a bit feisty at the thought of shakin things up a bit. As my amazing husband stated it…..being a “Bottle Rocket Christian”

At this given moment that is all I am going to share, however…everyday this week I am going to post yet another small insight into what I am choosing to do to shake things up a bit. . . what about you?

Embarking upon yet another season of life….

Jay — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:45:55 +0000

We are into February already and I am not sure how we arrived here so quickly. I am completing the final arrangements on Jessica’s graduation supplies…ie announcements, cap, gown, and things to that nature. And it is SO EXCITING, yet so scary too. For at this moment once she walks down that isle, she becomes a semi grown up. She can choose to do things the hard way, or to follow the traditional expected path of those who have graduated in the years to pass. However, from that point on, we as her parents, have an opinion to share but that is it. She is the one to make the final choice. Each of those choices will shape who she becomes, how she reacts, her behavior in situations for years to come.

Surprisingly, I am not worried. I learned about everything in my life the hardest way, went on my own determination to do things my way, and though a lot of pain and heartache was involved, it shaped me into who I am today. God knew where I was going to wind up, and He knows where I will go from here. For many years I questioned His planning of lives, but I also had and still have no concept. He is God. Period. If I could understand how He know everything that we will do but yet we have the free will to choose our direction in life, well then it wouldn’t make Him so awestruck in my eyes now would it?

I never want to forget who He is and how beyond He will always be in my understanding and small little mind.

An Opportunity for Memories

Jay — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:31:36 +0000

As we sit around and prepare for another winter weather arrival there is dread of the possible electric outages, but also excitement for the memories that we will be embarking upon. For if you know, or have ever spent any amount of time with my husband, then you would also be aware of the simple fact…He is not your common man, he does not do the common thing, and he is always creating some sort of a memory…maybe not by intent but nevertheless, it happens.

This year we have actually gotten alot of family time, rest time, and belly laughing as we get borderline delirious after days and days of being inside.

The first night is always the excitement of watching the weather, making sure all is ready and we are prepared. Second day is relaxing and catching up on good reading, that evening is interesting for one never knows what it may bring. Last night was our second night and brought a couple of our friends over, Daniel our son and one of them decided to strip down to their boxers and run out into the snow to make snow angels! Ahhh, good times and fun memories created.

I cannot imagine our lives without memories…what a truly amazing gift that God allowed us to have … even the ones that bring upon sadness or pain, they have a part to play in who we are today.

That Funny thing called Emotion.

Jay — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 05:57:15 +0000

We each feel it daily, there are times we fight it with a force that can be unseen, other times we embrace it and so desperately want to cling on for just a little bit longer….what is it? Emotion.

Simply one word that has a great depth of definition. Events are recorded in pictures and film, all have the same thing in common, emotion.

Nights can be rough or joyful, depending on the emotion. Lifelong decisions are at times decided on emotion.

Do we have any control over emotions?